Several months ago, I began to have trouble swallowing and I noticed that when I swallowed I could "feel" it on one side. It didn't hurt to swallow, it was just hard to do so. Jokingly, I said I needed a Speech Therapy consult. I dismissed this rather quickly as me eating too much, too quick. Most recently, my voice became hoarse. Everyone has been hoarse at one time or another and again I thought nothing of it. You see, I sing, so I blamed it on the weather combined with my singing. Well, almost 2 weeks ago, for whatever reason, I rubbed my hand over my neck. I felt every drop of blood drain from my head as I felt a lump in my neck. I went to my office and asked my coworkers if they could feel it. Not only could they feel it, they could see it. My Doctor was due to make rounds, so I decided I would wait for him to come and I would let him look at it. Remember, he is my personal friend, the one who loves me in spite of my craziness. In all actuality, I figured he would quickly dismiss it and say, "Gracie, you are being Gracie, it's nothing, you are fine", but would agree to order some tests just to shut me up. He finally came to make rounds and I told him I needed to talk to him. I took him in the med room and told him I had a lump in my neck and I wanted him to check it out. Now remember, I am just waiting on him to brush me off and reassure me that it is nothing. After a lengthy physical exam, he tells me not only can he see a lump but that whole side of my neck is much thicker than the other side. He tells me to keep talking and I say, "I know, I'm hoarse, but I'm not sick. I don't have sinuses or a cough or anything. I'm just hoarse." I tell him about being able to feel myself swallow. Again, I am waiting on him to tell me it's nothing, to quit worrying. He doesn't. He tells me we need to immediately do some testing. He tells me he thinks I have a mass on my thyroid gland and if it is not on the thyroid gland, he thinks it is on my vocal cord its self. He tells me the good news is that no one dies of thyroid cancer these days. Huh, that's my good news????? This past Tuesday, I went for thyroid scans. They confirm I do indeed have a mass on my right thyroid lobe. I am scheduled to see a surgeon Thursday, March 5th, who will decide whether to biopsy it first or just proceed with removing it and biopsy it after removal. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that God is in control. I know that He has a plan and purpose for this time and this trial. He already knows what is in my throat. He already knows the outcome of any test that will be done. I will trust and praise Him throughout this and beyond. I have heard Him as He has whispered reminders to me of who He is. He has wrapped His arms around me and loved me more and more during these last 2 weeks. He has blessed me with amazing friends who have helped me with this difficult time. Again, I covet your prayers, more specifically this week for 1.) My Doctor- To have wisdom to identify the problem and know the optimal course of treatment 2.) Me- To have wisdom in deciding the optimal course of treatment and to have a peace that passes all understanding 3.) My Family- We are a family of faith and we have no doubt where our help comes from. This has been a hard 2 weeks for my Husband, my Daughters, and my Mom specifically. Pray they would experience the very same peace. One of my daughters asked me, "Mom, what if you can't yell for me", as we were driving back from her softball game. Now even though I know this is not likely, the fact that she is worried about it broke my heart. I was a big girl in front of her but as soon as she was in the other room, I had a crying moment! There is a very thin line between being honest with your children and trying to keep them from unnecessary worrying. Pray also, that I will have the right words to say to all of them. Pray they will see Him in me. 3.) My Vocal Cords- Please pray there is NO damage to my vocal cords if surgery is necessary. I have been singing for Him since I was 13. My voice is His and I want to use it for Him. I know that God is able to do immeasurably more than we think or even imagine. For that I am thankful!
=],
Gracie
Gracie, I really hate to hear that! I will be in prayer for you & your family!
ReplyDeleteOH wow. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you sure seem to have a great attitude about it. I will be praying for you! Hang in there, GOD IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW!
ReplyDeleteThat is hard news. May God hear all your prayers, my new friend. May He himself touch you and take care of this situation. May you find the courage to draw near to Him and fully surrender it all.
ReplyDeletewill keep praying...
ME
I'll be praying specifically and diligently.
ReplyDelete