Sunday, March 24, 2013

The Plan For Now.....

This is the first time I have attempted to post from my iPod. 

I suppose we will know how well it goes in a few minutes. 

My Daddy is out of the hospital after a 5 day stay for maintenance chemo. 

He did really well. 

He will now go to the clinic twice a week for lab work and will be transfused, as needed. 

It is expected about 7-10 days, after chemo, his counts will start to drop.

It is during this time, as well, he will have to be very careful about being around anybody that's sick as his immunity will be very, very low.

They did consult the bone marrow transplant team and we were able to meet with them this week while we were there. 

From every indication, he is a candidate for a transplant and a possible match has been found. 

The question, at this point, is basically, do the benefits of having a transplant outweigh the risks of having a transplant. 

The problem is no one can really answer that. 

His best chance of survival is with a transplant. 

We know that. 

But, there are a lot of risks involved and it is not, by any means, a quick fix. 

And, by a lot of risks, I mean a lot of risks. 

We've talked about what the right answer is and he's asked me what the right answer is, but, to be honest, I just don't know. 

I wish I had all the answers, but I don't. 

I don't know what I would do if I was in his situation.  

I selfishly want to tell him yes, I most definitely would do it, but I can't.

My heart aches for my Daddy.

He is such a fighter, and wants to live so bad. 

We are praying for wisdom and guidance to make the right decision.

We want the answer to be so unmistakably clear, there is no denying it is from God. 

Thankfully, we have a little time before that decision has to be made. 

The plan is for him to be readmitted to UAB, April 15th, for a 2nd round of maintenance chemo, Clofarabine.   

That is all I know for now, and yes, even those plans are subject to change. 

My heart is overwhelmed. 

I question why. 

Yet, I know, The Creator of the Universe, who placed each and every star in the sky, is madly in love with me. 

We trust in Him and the plan He has for us. 

He has good plans for our lives, even though our plan, at times, may not be His plan. 

His plans are far better for us.....

Every. 

Single. 

Time. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11

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2.From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 3. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. ~Psalms 30:2-3

Love you MUCH!

=],



 

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Waiting on the But.....

My Daddy has been out of the hospital 2 weeks now.

His counts are up and he is regaining strength everyday.

They repeated his bone marrow
biopsy last Wednesday as an outpatient.

We got the wonderful news from
Dr. Erba Monday that he is in remission.

He will be readmitted to UAB next week for consolidation
chemo, which is basically maintenance chemo, or preventive chemo.

He has a really aggressive type of cancer and if
they don't do any additional chemo, it will come back.

After this round of chemo, they may
entertain thoughts of a bone marrow transplant.

They are already testing his siblings to see if they are a match.

A transplant is not an quick fix and is a very harsh process.

He is such a fighter, though and wants to live so bad.

I know that may sound cliche-ish, but he really is.

The Daughter in me is so relieved and so thankful for this news.

The Nurse in me is waiting on the "but."

You know how it goes, "Your leukemia is in remission, BUT....."

So far, there hasn't been a but.

But.....

I keep expecting it.

Keep waiting for it.

Keep anticipating it.

Now don't go all judgemental on me and
start thinking I am not thankful for answered prayer.

I am EXTREMELY thankful for his remission.

I am EXTREMELY thankful his counts are up.

I am EXTREMELY thankful he is gaining strength.

I am thankful for it all.

BUT.....

I am guarded.

And just maybe, guarding my heart, mostly.

I have said all along I will be
thankful for what we are given.

That is hard sometimes.

God already knows I am waiting for the "but."

Guess what?

He loves me anyway.

I will tell you that today, this
day, I am thankful for the remission.

I have no idea what may happen tomorrow or when the "but"
may come, but God does and He, as always, is in complete control.

His mercies are new every morning.

Every. Morning.

This isn't the first time I've reminded myself of this.

Click HERE to see that post.

What does the word mercies really mean?

I am soooooo glad you asked.

=)

MERCY: mer·cy/ [mur-see] noun, plural mer·cies for 4, 5.

1. compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence: Have mercy on the poor sinner.

2. the disposition to be compassionate or forbearing: an adversary wholly without mercy.

3. the discretionary power of a judge to pardon someone or to mitigate punishment, especially to send to prison rather than invoke the death penalty.

4. an act of kindness, compassion, or favor: She has performed countless small mercies for her friends and neighbors.

5. something that gives evidence of divine favor; blessing: It was just a mercy we had our seat belts on when it happened.

Compassion. Kindness.

Divine Favor.

Blessing.

Just think, they are new EVERY morning!

Wow, I will take that any day.

Thank you for your prayers, Blog Friends.

Love you MUCH!

=],