I need your prayers.
I am facing a trial which, at this time, is enormous to my eyes and even more so to my heart. I have not been able to talk about it and even now, as I type, tears flow down my cheeks.
I stand firm in my faith and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, God has a purpose in all of this. I know He does. Can I see the purpose right now? No.
My heart is absolutely broken. It feels like it is being ripped out of my chest.
I shared these verses with my Blog Friend, Serenity, on Tuesday. They have been such a source of comfort for me.
Job 23:8-10
8. But if I go to the east, he is not there;
if I go to the west, I do not find him.
9. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
10. But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
Hebrews 13:5 tells us, He will never leave us, nor forsake us, but right now, in this storm, I can't feel Him and I can't see Him.
My spirit knows He is at work in my life and knows He is at work in this trial, but my flesh can not find Him, can catch no glimpse of Him, can't see Him.
I cry out to Him. I pour my heart out to Him. He knows I hurt. He knows my pain. He sees me. He knows the way I take. Even when I can't see Him.
I want Him to intercede, to "fix it", but I want it done under my conditions. You don't have to tell me, I know that is wrong, but I am being honest with you.
I'm just not sure I can selflessly say, "Not my will, but Thine, Lord".
I want to KNOW and UNDERSTAND, He wants me to TRUST.
He controls the winds and the waves. He controls this storm. He can calm the storm or calm me while the storm continues to rage. I prefer He calm the storm but, in any event, I will praise Him in this storm.
Think about this.....
David would be known only as a shepherd boy had it not been for Goliath.
The thing meant to bring him down was the very thing God used to propel him to the next level.
I hope to be able to share the details with you soon.
I hope to be sharing the Miracle with you soon.
Pray my Friends, pray.
Without ceasing.
=],
Gracie my friend...
ReplyDeleteI could have written your post word for word...The pain of any trial or tribulation is tremendous and like you I want it done on my terms...You know my story...You know the time that has been invested into my story and I am just now able to say...Your Will be done - Not on my time, on His...You left me with one of the most beautiful passages I have ever read so I now return the favor to you, not in the form of a passage but a poem I found that helps to ease the pain....You are in my thoughts and prayers. (((Hugs)))
Each New Day
When a new day begins, the sun comes up, sheds light upon the earth and warms us.
We may not always see the sun ' cause of the dark clouds that loom over us.
Be Strong, they'll soon pass away.
There will be times when strong storms seem unbearable for us to stand it may thunder, but let it thunder, lightening may flash, but let it flash, the wind may howl, but let it howl.
Just hold on tight cause the storm will pass away.
There will be times when the night is long and we may feel all alone with no one to talk to.
Be not afraid of the night, it also will pass away.
The breaking of a new day brings us light and hope.
Trials and tribulations will come into our life; they may be at times long and hard.
They will give way to the light that shines upon us.
Our Father's tender mercies are new at the beginning of a new day.
Love will carry us through the day.
Oh Gracie, I'm so sorry. One thing about blogland is that we can share so many joys but it's so much harder (for me at least) to share the trials. I am in the midst of my own huge trial right now, struggling to see the light at the end of a dark, lonely tunnel, and having to trust that God is guiding me through the darkness. I haven't shared it on my blog, but someday I intend to. I just have to do it when I'm no longer in the tunnel. I want to share it when I've made it through. =0\
ReplyDeleteHang in there! I'll be praying for you.
(((Gracie)))
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to come in and check on you and make sure you are ok...Let me know if you need anything...
Hugs, Love & Prayers to you my friend :)
Gracie, you shared with me words of comfort. I hope to share with you that I am praying and thinking of you. I pary that the Lord give you light to see what this struggle to bring to your life, and give you the strength to endure it.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
ReplyDeletePraying.