I need you.
I need your prayers.
I am facing a trial which, at this time, is enormous to my eyes and even more so to my heart. I have not been able to talk about it and even now, as I type, tears flow down my cheeks.
I stand firm in my faith and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, God has a purpose in all of this. I know He does. Can I see the purpose right now? No.
My heart is absolutely broken. It feels like it is being ripped out of my chest.
I shared these verses with my Blog Friend, Serenity, on Tuesday. They have been such a source of comfort for me.
8. But if I go to the east, he is not there;
if I go to the west, I do not find him.
9. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
10. But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
Hebrews 13:5 tells us, He will never leave us, nor forsake us, but right now, in this storm, I can't feel Him and I can't see Him.
My spirit knows He is at work in my life and knows He is at work in this trial, but my flesh can not find Him, can catch no glimpse of Him, can't see Him.
I cry out to Him. I pour my heart out to Him. He knows I hurt. He knows my pain. He sees me. He knows the way I take. Even when I can't see Him.
I want Him to intercede, to "fix it", but I want it done under my conditions. You don't have to tell me, I know that is wrong, but I am being honest with you.
I'm just not sure I can selflessly say, "Not my will, but Thine, Lord".
I want to KNOW and UNDERSTAND, He wants me to TRUST.
He controls the winds and the waves. He controls this storm. He can calm the storm or calm me while the storm continues to rage. I prefer He calm the storm but, in any event, I will praise Him in this storm.
Think about this.....
David would be known only as a shepherd boy had it not been for Goliath.
The thing meant to bring him down was the very thing God used to propel him to the next level.
I hope to be able to share the details with you soon.
I hope to be sharing the Miracle with you soon.
Pray my Friends, pray.