Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Nope, Nada, Zilch.....

It has been one of those take 20 steps forward, take 120 steps backwards days.

To say I am tired of this roller coaster would be an understatement, maybe the understatement of the year.

I must be honest. There are days I have no hope. None, Nada, Zilch.

Today is one of those days.

My bubble from last Wednesday's appointment was busted just a few minutes ago.

I don't understand why this is happening. Where is the justice in all of this. I am so mad and angry and I'm exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

It's not that I think I should be exempt from trouble. I don't. I just don't think this trouble is fair. I know, I know, Life isn't fair. I am more aware of that now than ever before.

When will it end? When will this chaos stop? When will the storm cease? When will the winds die down? When will my tears stop? When will my heart stop hurting?

I do wonder over and over and over why God has allowed this to happen. I do. I can't lie. Why have I been led down this path that only ends at heartache?

I don't want to be on a pity party. I know it seems like I am. This is so out of character for me. I never want people to see me hurting, even in the worst of times, but my spirit is so broken.

I am praying, I am seeking His face. I am asking Him not only peace in the storm but peace for my heart as I ride out this massive storm.

Thank you all for checking on me. God knew months and months ago I would be here at this place, at this time and I would need you, my Blog Friends. I love you all, more than you could ever know.



  1. Oh Gracie, my heart just aches for you. I, of course, am sitting here wondering all the 'whats'? and 'whys?' with you.

    Just know that we BLOGGY FRIENDS share one BIG FABULOUSLY AWESOME GOD! AND you know what? He knows exactly when then winds and storms quit raging. He knows exactly where you are, how you got here, and how you will finish this race. Fear not, for HE is with you! And HE knows all the answers that we/you do not.

    Praying for you my friend!

  2. Hi Gracie. I haven't been here for awhile so I didn't realize you guys were facing a struggle. I read through a few earlier blogs and saw this is something that you have been dealing with for a little while. I'm sorry it is happening, but glad you have the faith to persevere. I pray for the folks in blogland quite regularly, and I'll add you in. God bless.

  3. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.I hope it all gets better for you soon!

  4. Oh Gracie, so sorry that you are still suffering.

    Praying for you.