Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.....

The girls and I loaded up Sunday morning and headed to Gulf Shores where Haley played in her final *sniff, sniff* Gulf Coast Classic High School Softball Tournament.

We played teams from Opelika, Scottsboro, Hazel Green, Hartselle, and Bob Jones all from Alabama as well as University High School of Tennessee and Tishomingo High School from Mississippi.

Southside High School Varsity Softball Team
Haley Johnson, front row center

Lady Panther Dance

Lady Panther Dance

He called her out, but OF COURSE she was safe ;)

Workin' those bases

Gettin' ready to steal

Superstar at bat

We were seeded 13th out of 56 teams.
The Lady Panthers went 4-2-1 in the tournament.


Once the games ended, we were able to move on to Spring Break Mode, which meant doing whatever we wanted to, whenever we wanted to.

It meant quiet time on the beach for Gracie

Complete with early morning walks while the girls slept

Spring Break Mode was FABULOUS!

We rode the Ferris Wheel

And went really, really high.

Of course, my kids are scared of heights

Really, really scared of heights

I'm not sure how Kylee thought holding on would help her if we fell, lol.

I loved it!

They loved it too once it was over =)

Then we topped it off with ice cream

From Scoops, our favorite Ice Cream Shop =)

We are winding up our trip at the beach, enjoying our last day.

I love spending time with my girls.

Fun times, wonderful memories and lots and lots of laughs.

Love you MUCH!


=],

God Keeps His Promises.....

I love how God sends us reminders of WHO He is.

This picture was taken today at my Church.

It is breathtaking.

I wanted to share it with you.

=],

The Storm Revealed.....

Over the last several months I asked you to be in prayer as I endured the worst storm of my life, yet I was unable to share the storm with you.

The time has come that I can.

This has been the center of my storm.....

Most of you know my Nephew, Hayden. The story behind him can be found here.

This past Summer my Brother and his wife, Raschel decided to end their marriage in divorce. Honestly, I wasn't concerned with that because I knew nothing with Hayden would change. We would still get him on Friday nights and keep him until Monday mornings like always. Or so I thought.

The last week in August brought devastating news.

Raschel told us she was planning to move and we had 30 days to see Hayden and after those 30 days we wouldn't see him unless my Brother let us see him on his weekend visits.

I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest, like I had been kicked right in the gut.

I cried every time I dropped him off at school because I never knew if that would be the last time we'd keep him or not.

Everyday was countdown to devastation.

29 days til we won't have him anymore, 28, 27, 26, so forth and so on.

I was so incredibly sad.

I was crushed.

I couldn't talk about it.

I couldn't eat.

I cried myself to sleep.

I was mad, mad at her and my brother for being irresponsible parents who could care less about their baby and only about themselves and mad at them for using Hayden as a bargaining tool.

Two weeks later on September 9th, she suddenly moved out taking Hayden with her. Wait a minute, we've got 2 weeks left!!!!

I thought I would surely die of heartbreak. I have never been so hurt in all of my life. It was as if somebody was taking one of my own kids away from me and there was nothing I could do about it.

Though I know I did not give birth to him, my heart does not realize this.
For 4 years now, we have raised him and loved him as our very own child.

I went to an Attorney to see what if any options we had to keep him in our lives after all, we had been the only stable environment he had ever known, his primary caregivers, and provided for him financially.

I quickly learned a paternal aunt has no rights, regardless of what role they have played in the child's life. Some of you may agree with this, some of you may not. I will tell you very quickly that you shouldn't be quick to jump to conclusions when you do not know all the details.

My brother was willing to sign over his half of parental rights to us and us share joint custody with her but she had to agree to this and wouldn't.

The divorce negotiations between her and my Brother went back and forth. We rejected her initial request which gave her full custody and submitted a counteroffer for her and my brother to share joint custody with a clause that if my brother was unable to fulfill his visitation for any reason, his visitation rights would then fall to us.

My brother was in complete agreement with this and it seemed like a safe compromise to us. With this agreement, we knew we would see him at least every other weekend. Don't misunderstand, we wanted Hayden ALL the time, but compared to nothing, which is what she originally told us we would get, every other weekend sounded great. Unfortunately, she adamantly rejected this offer.

Our options then were to either submit another counteroffer or file our own petition for divorce and go to court.

We hoped it would not come down to court, but were willing to go to whatever length necessary to do what is best for Hayden and keep him in our lives.

During this time, she started having a hard time financially and was having a difficult time managing Hayden's school schedule. On impulse, we offered to let Hayden live with us at least until the end of the school year but not make any changes legally. Much to our dismay, she agreed.

He has been with us full time and we are loving every minute of it. He is attending Preschool 3 days a week and is doing great. He is content and never asks for his Mom or Dad.

I realize I may have set myself up for heartbreak when and if she decides she wants him to live with her again, however, I wouldn't have it any other way.

No matter what happens I know that God's grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning.

I received a call last week from her that she was ready to agree to our requests. She was suddenly eager to sign the divorce papers, with us utilizing my Brother's visitation if he is unable to do so.

Last Friday they signed those papers.

That may not seem like that much of a victory to some of you but, believe me, it is HUGE!!

This is what I've prayed for, begged God for.

I am so thankful.

So relieved.

I know without a doubt God placed this precious boy in our lives. I also know He has a specific reason and purpose in doing so.

I do trust Him, yet I must admit this journey has been long and hard. My heart has been heavy and I have been weary, tired, and scared.

I wanted so desperately for God to wave His magic wand and make it all better. To fix it. My way. In my time.

He didn't.

He worked it out in His time. According to His plan.

Thank you for your prayers.

I love you MUCH!

=],

A Bit of Everything.....

This post has a bit of everything in it.

Here goes.....

My Mom had her CT scan last week. It was negative. I must admit I was skeptical of the results because of the fiasco with the last one so I asked one of my Physician friends to have it re-read.

He called me yesterday and told me it was 100% clear. The clots are gone from both of her lungs. I am so thankful. She will stay on Coumadin (blood thinner) through the end of this month. She is so anxious to be off of it.

Kylee is still doing wonderful with her seizure medication reduction. We will titrate the dose down again tomorrow. Originally she was on 450mg twice a day. Tomorrow it will go down to 150mg in the morning and 300mg in the evening. Progress, we are making progress.

This weekend the girls and I had a girls weekend. It was wonderful. We went to see Dear John. I won't spoil it for you but I have never been more emotionally drained after watching a movie.

Here's some pics of me and the girls.....





We had THE best time!

Remember my Friend that needed the flashing neon sign from God?
Well, It was soooooo bright they needed shades =) I love it when that happens.

I don't think I've mentioned this to you but for some time now I have been wanting plastic surgery. There are a couple things I'd like to have done. Yeah, yeah, I know some of you will think that it's ridiculous and vain, my Mother included.

I thought Christmas would be the perfect time to ask for said plastic surgery so when Christmas rolled around I asked for, you guessed it, plastic surgery. I didn't get it. I got Brett, a personal trainer, instead.

How bout that?

I must say I was a tad bitter about it. I know I have told you how I DESPISE exercise. I define it as TORTURE. Not to mention, it has been *cough,cough* roughly 20 years since this body has seen any type of real exercise. I mean I'm the girl who runs only if somebody is chasing her. I knew I was in Trouble with a capital "T". Not to mention, I hate working out with all those skinny girls in their cute little exercise outfits. I can hear them now, "Look at the fat girl trying to do THAT. Get the AED (defibrillator) and the O2 ready. Have 911 on standby." That scenario did not interest me in the LEAST!

I was sooo nervous going into that gym the 1st time. I have been a member there for over 10 years but have gone maybe 5 times before. I had never done a single exercise outside the Ladies Only room.

That changed REALLY quick.

The first time he had me do an exercise IN FRONT of people I almost had a heart attack. I said, "You mean HERE?" lol.

We do one night of upper body, abs and cardio and another night of lower body, abs, and cardio then at least 2 other nights of abs and cardio.

After that first week I couldn't walk for 4, yes 4 days. I thought I would DIE and at times wished I would!!! I was sooo sore but there was NO WAY those skinny girls would see me not doing something, lol.

I suppose that competitive spirit has worked to my advantage as well as my disadvantage, lol.

When I started I had 22 lbs to lose. Today, 6 weeks later, I have lost 6 lbs, 2% body fat, 4 inches and dropped one point on my BMI. Not bad for a bitter girl, huh, lol?

I am happy with the results so far but I am working hard on those other 16 lbs.

Bless Brett's heart, he had NO clue what he was getting when I became his client. I tease him all the time and ask him if he took his Xanax before our session. He is a sweet boy though. I like him. He knows all about my bitterness. I told him straight up I asked for plastic surgery for Christmas and got him, lol. I also told him not to take my bitterness personally. He doesn't. =)

I'll keep you posted on how it's going and if there's any point I require Oxygen or medical assistance, lol.

Have a great week, Friends.

Love you MUCH!

=],

This Week Is History, Finally.....

This week will go down in history as one of the worst ever.
Sorry, to start this off on such a positive note but it is what it is.

Tuesday, I had to travel to Montgomery for a meeting. I was able to spend time with Friends I don't normally get to see. I had a really nice time. It was the only good day of the entire week.

I came home late Tuesday night to Hayden throwing up from a 24 hour stomach virus. He was so pitiful. I don't think he has ever thrown up before and he had no idea what was going on.

Wednesday was my birthday. It was terrible and had nothing to do with turning 39. That's all I can say about Wednesday.

State Surveyors came to Love & Care Thursday for a survey. That meant working many long hours Thursday, Friday and yes, even yesterday.

I was SO ready to see the work week come to an end.

Kylee was in a program at Church this morning. It was really, really good. They did an awesome job.

I should update you and tell you that Kylee is doing wonderful with her seizure medication reduction. We have just reduced the dose for the 2nd time. We are moving with baby steps but that is certainly ok with me. Thanks for your continued prayers.

I am already anticipating what will happen the coming week, hoping it will be nothing like the last.

I do have decisions to make in the coming weeks. People I love have decisions to make in the coming weeks. Please pray for wisdom and peace and while you're at it a flashing neon sign would be pretty helpful too. ;)

Just sayin'

I hope you have a wonderful week.

Love you MUCH!

=],

My Flashing Neon Sign.....

Today is Day 2 in the reduction of Kylee's seizure medicine.

She will take this amount for 2 weeks before going down a little more for 2 weeks, then a little more for 2 weeks, until it is stopped.

Thank you all for your sweet words of encouragement and your prayers. You don't know how much I appreciate each and every one of you.

Honestly, I must admit I am holding my breath praying she doesn't have a seizure. I am on pins and needles all day anticipating the school nurse calling me.

At home, I am constantly looking at her to see if she has "THE" look. I have promised myself I will not hover over her too much.

I don't want her to be held captive by this condition, yet I don't want her held hostage by my anxiety either. Both are equally as bad.

It's now a waiting game.

Waiting to see if she will be ok and the seizures are goneor Waiting to see if she has a seizure, meaning the test was a fluke.

I don't like waiting, but there is nothing I can do about it.

A group from our Church will be traveling to Honduras in April for a medical mission trip. If you'll recall in 2006 I went on this same trip. I have been unable to go the last couple years for various reasons.

I had no plans of going this year either until this..... ....a flashing neon sign from God.

Literally in the last week, every door necessary for me to go has opened.

I've had 5 different people this week ask me about going. This will be during softball season. Keep in mind Haley is a Senior, so this is an important year plus it is important for me as a Mom to be at all her games.

There is always a softball tournament in Gulf Shores the same week and I'm a room mother. Well, guess what? Not only is the tournament a different week this year, it is an entirely different month.

How bout that for a flashing neon sign?

Today, I purchased my airline ticket to San Pedro Sula, Honduras. It is located in the top left corner of the Country close to the border of Guatemala.

I am so excited!

Don't you just love it when God gives you a CLEAR sign like this?

I know I do.

Love you MUCH!

=],

Completely Normal.....

We spent the day at Children's Hospital today where they ran some tests to see how, if any, Kylee's Seizure Disorder had progressed. She's not having any new problems, and in fact has not had a seizure since August of 2008.

I must say I am as confused as I've ever been. The EEG was COMPLETELY normal, without one single spike. We have never had a completely normal EEG since this all started in 2006. The last EEG we had was so much worse than the previous one and by far the worst one since the beginning.

That is great news BUT the Pediatric Neurologist, can't tell us if it was normal because the seizure disorder is gone or if the test done today was a "fluke". He said it is quite possible either is true. The seizure disorder could be totally gone. On the other hand, he said it is possible that if he repeated the test tomorrow it may look like the last one, totally abnormal.

So what now?

Because she has done so well, seizure free since August 2008, he wants to rapidly titrate her off her seizure medicine. This TERRIFIES me. It was a terrible experience when she was first diagnosed and we were trying to get her seizures under control. I ♥ seizure medicine as it has given her a somewhat normal life.

Good news is, if she has a seizure after she comes off her medicine he has plenty of time to regulate her before it's time to get her drivers permit.

Soooo, starting in the morning we will start a dose reduction and in 6 weeks she will be totally off her seizure medication. In 4 months we will repeat the EEG and see how it looks.

Of course, I am ecstatic at the thought of this terrible condition being gone yet filled with MUCH anxiety at the uncertainty of the diagnosis and the coming days.

There is a part of me that wishes the test had not been normal today. That may sound crazy to some of you and believe me I have received my share of criticism for saying that. See, she has been doing so well on this current regimen of medicine. She hasn't had a seizure since August of 2008. If the test had been the slightest bit abnormal he would not have even thought of taking her off her medicine. We could have continued to smoothly sail right along.

Did I tell you I am a nervous wreck?

I am.

Just sayin'

I'll keep you posted, Friends.

Love you MUCH!

=],