Have you ever felt like things were coming at you from every side? So much that you couldn't keep up with it all? Like you were smothering from being so overwhelmed?
Have you ever found yourself distressed from the unknown, or panicking from the uncertainty of it all? Angry when your friends, people you love are mistreated?
That is where I find myself. I am so overwhelmed from all the chaos and turmoil around me, things that are totally beyond my control.
My heart is heavy. Fiery darts are being thrown at me. I am ashamed to say it, but My Father is disappointed, while satan must be pleased, with the way I have reacted to it so far. I have repaid bitterness with bitterness. I have not prayed for those that have despitefully used me, as commanded in Matthew 5:44. Truth is, I haven't even wanted to.
I am hurt.
I am angry.
I want to open my mouth and let my angry, hurt voice be heard.
I need God to work in my life and in this situation.
I know you hear me God, I NEED YOU !
I need Him to guard my mouth, give me wisdom when to speak and the right words to say when the time to speak comes. Please help me discern what is real and what is fake where other people are concerned.
He knows exactly what is happening. I know without a doubt God is in control of this situation, just like He is every situation. I also know, as I've said before, that He is not surprised by this trial. He is not pacing the floor, wringing His hands wondering what He's going to do and how He's gonna fix it.
I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangle me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. Psalms 18:1-6
I refuse for satan to have the victory in this. I refuse to allow him to steal my joy.
Help me, God! I am crying out to You with everything that is in me. Please take this bitterness and anger away. Help me to pray for those that despitefully use me and my friends even when I don't want to pray for them. You know the evil and wickedness that abounds around us. They think they work in secret, but You are not fooled by their craftiness. You know all, and see all.
Help me cling only to You. I will not be dismayed, even when it feels like there is no breath left in me, I cling to you and your promises. You will NEVER leave me or forsake me. You will NEVER put more on me than I can bear. Help me to remember that, Father. Help me remember that.
God is faithful.
He has a plan and a purpose for me and for you.