My. baby. boy. is. gone.
My heart is broken.
I am hurt.
I knew there was a chance this day would come.
I knew it was possible.
Yet, I loved a blond haired, 4 year old with all of my heart.
Now, he has been taken from me.
If you don't remember what is happening or if you're new to my blog, here's what's going on
It would be different if she was any kind of parent at all.
She has no education.
It makes me physically ill.
Makes me want to vomit.
Do I blame God?
God has a plan and a purpose in ALL of this.
God knows every tear I've cried and has held them in the palm of His hand.
He knows I am mad.
He knows I am sad.
He knows I don't want to pray for her right now.
He knows I want Him to wave a magic wand and fix it all.
He knows I'd rather not cry myself to sleep every night.
He knows I just want to hold him.
He knows I want to smell him.
He knows I lay in his bed so I can be near him.
He knows I wonder where he is.
He knows I worry about what he's eating.
He knows I don't think I can take this anymore.
He knows I want my baby back.
He knows my heart has no idea I didn't give birth to him.
He knows it ALL.
He still loves me.
I don't know how this will end.
I am trusting God.
That is all I can do.
Love you MUCH!