I don't really have much of an update for you.
I have not been able to talk to Hayden, nor have I seen him.
We may be able to see him tomorrow night.
I am trying not to get my hopes up, as my heart can not take any more pain.
Basically, right now, I am pretending as if it won't happen and if it does, it will be a wonderful surprise.
I can now talk about it without crying.
That may not sound like much to you, but believe me, it is a HUGE improvement.
My heart still aches for him.
I want to hear him laugh.
I want to get lost in his beautiful green eyes.
I want to feel his arms around my neck.
I want to know he is ok.
I want him home where he belongs.
I must admit, I still don't know how or what to pray.
Quite honestly, praying for His will is hard for me.
I want what I want.
I want him.
I know that is wrong.
You don't have to tell me that.
I'm thankful for this verse found in Romans.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints
in accordance with God's will.
I am confident the Spirit is interceding on my behalf at this very moment.
For that I am thankful.
Love you MUCH!